Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Dust bunny bonanza

Did you ever wonder how much dust would accumulate if you didn't clean for four months? Welcome to the wonderful world of Snowbird Spring Cleaning. It's been a week since we returned to Michigan after spending the winter in The Keys and I'm just getting around to finding the house I left somewhere under all this unpacking.

Enough dust to write your name on tabletops? I've got enough dusty surfaces to write the entire constitution, and still accommodate all 39 signers. The exercise bike, which admitedly was never overused, has been tethered to the corner with a maze of cobwebs. The dust bunnies have built nests in the corners and we can expect a litter of baby bunnies any day. The toilet bowls have rings that remind me of the rim of seaweed on Florida beaches after a windy day. What's that about? Did the dust bunnies and spiders use the toilet while we were gone?

I swear I didn't leave my house this filthy. If I found Snickers wrappers and beer cans, I'd know homeless people had been camping here. But no unexpected refuse, just enough dust and dirt to plant a garden.

I could probably charge admission as a haunted house, but it might be more profitable to declare the house a hazardous waste site and apply for an EPA Superfund clean-up grant. Instead, I've been sweeping and dusting, and even laughing now and then when I feel the threads of a cobweb on my cheek. Another spider's home cleared away. Maybe they moved to The Keys for the summer.

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